Now I Know
by PheobeColelovers
Summary: umm..songfic. Not much else to say. Kind of sad. Pheobe's point of view. Please review


_**This is my new songfic. I am addicted to writing them so I hope someone likes to read them because there are many to come. This is just one on a long list of songs that I hope to turn into songfics. K, I'll shut up and let you read. **_

**Now I know**

I feel so complete now, like I was nothing without you. I feel so blessed that you were sent to save me and I believe you did that. Now that I know you, I couldn't imagine surviving without you, without seeing your beautiful face, your perfect blue eyes. For all of my obstacles, everything I've lost, all of the pain, the grief, you are my one constant, the one thing that will remain good in my life. I thank God for sending you to me because I don't honestly think I could have made it had it not been for you. I look at your small features, count your fingers and your toes, hold you in my arms and know that this is the only love that will withstand the test of time-mother and child

_When you looked down_

_From your Heaven and found me here_

_You could see my heart was not quite right_

_Something was missing in my life_

_I didn't understand_

_Then I held your little hand_

I didn't believe that I would ever mend my broken heart, left tattered and in pieces. There was a void that I couldn't fill no matter howhard I tried, no matter what I did. I dated, tried to find love, failing miserably, but the only thing that remained the same was the whole left in my heart. As soon as I looked in your eyes, his eyes, it vanished, filled up. You were it, what I had been waiting for, the one thingy that I needed the most. The second you clasped onto my finger, looked into my eyes, I knew. It's just you and me in the world now and I know that as long as I am with you, I canget through anything, defeat anything to keep you safe, keep you loved.

_Now I know_

_I was waiting for you_

_Now I know_

_How much my heart can love_

_You filled it up with the touch of an angel_

_You have saved me from the emptiness_

_I'm not alone_

_Now I know_

Years of wishing for you, dreaming of you, and now here you are, a perfect being, a creation made from love, a gift from your father. He knew how I had dreamed of you, wanted you. He watched my yearnings, my desperate attempts, watched as I lost my powers in my efforts to have you. He came to me one night, desperate to help me, to give me what I had been wanting for so long. A romantic story I will tell you when you are older, precious angel, of your father, the person who always knew me, my needs, my fears. When no one else could figure me out, he could and I loved him so much for that.

_Now I know_

_I was dreaming of you, baby_

_Now I know_

_You're the song inside my heart_

_You bring me joy with the voice of an angel_

_You have saved me_

_I can feel you now_

_I'm not alone_

You run around, singing at the top of your lungs, your two year old legs taking you around the house as fast as they can, and there's no sound so pure as your voice, and no sound so wanted as the pitter-patter of your tiny feet on the hard-wood floor. I watch as you learn and am amazed at how smart you are, always observing, absorbing. You take in everything that goes on and that scares me.

I hope that you can't hear me at night, can't see me as I watch you sleep, making sure that it isn't a dream, that you are here to stay, and that no one will take you away. I hope you cannot tell how sad and lonely I am when you are not with me, left only with memories of my past, of him. You saved me from a lifetime of regret but still I can't help but feel some. After I tuck you in, I think of all the things you've learned that day and I cry because your father will never be a part of it, will never hold you in his arms, tuck you in, hear your beautiful voice say his name, "daddy." He was robbed. You were robbed and I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you will never get to witness first hand what an amazing person he was.

_I used to dream_

_I'd hear a sweet voice down the hall_

_Singing lullabies_

_It seemed so real_

_I'd wake up holding pillows so tight_

_As I was kissing it goodnight_

Just remember precious girl, how much I love you, and carry your father with you wherever you go, in your heart because he lives now only within you. You are my impossible dream come true, a child that was never supposed to be born. My sweet Paradox, I hope one day, you will understand just how far your daddy and I went to have you, me with my desperation, him with his love. He gave up everything for me, for you. He could have been brought back to Earth for an eternity but he chose to come to me that one night and gave up a life for you to be born. Never forget that he did that, that he loved you so much that he gave his lifeto you.

_**K, so I don't know if that really went with the song but whatever. I liked it. By the way it takes place after season 7. Oh, and I don't own the song. Don't sue me. Don't take this off fanfiction. I swear I'm not claiming it as my own. It belongs to whoever it belongs to, Fisher or someone.**_


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